The Invisible Load
You’re scrolling through your phone at 2 AM, your baby is finally asleep, and your mind is wide awake, running through a mental checklist: Order more diapers. Schedule a doctor’s appointment. What’s for dinner tomorrow? Did I remember to send that email?
This is the Invisible Load of Motherhood—the constant planning, remembering, and organizing that no one sees. It's the mental work that never turns off. And while it might seem like a purely mental struggle, as a physical therapist, I can tell you it has a very real, physical impact on your body. The constant stress and mental strain you carry can manifest as physical tension, leading to tight shoulders, a sore neck, and even chronic pain. Your body is listening to your mind, and when your mind is overwhelmed, your body pays the price.
The Physical Toll of Mental Stress
When you are constantly in "planning mode," your nervous system stays in a state of low-grade stress. This leads to:
Muscle Tension: You involuntarily clench your jaw, lift your shoulders, or tighten your core muscles. This constant, unreleased tension contributes to neck pain, tension headaches, and low back discomfort.
Shallow Breathing: Stress encourages shallow, chest-dominant breathing (reverse of diaphragmatic breathing). This disrupts the natural function of your core, which can impact your pelvic floor and overall stability.
Slower Healing: Chronic stress floods your body with cortisol, which can hinder the body's natural healing and recovery processes, making it harder to rebuild core strength after pregnancy.
Actionable Steps to Lighten the Load
You can’t eliminate motherhood’s mental load, but you can manage it to ease the physical strain.
1. Make the Invisible Visible
The first step to easing a burden is to acknowledge it. Talk to your partner or a trusted family member about all the mental tasks you manage. You can write them down on a shared list or a whiteboard. Once it's out of your head and in the open, it can be shared.
2. Delegate the Management, Not Just the Task
It's tempting to just tell your partner what to do, but true delegation involves handing over the mental management of a task, not just the physical labor. Instead of saying, "Can you take the trash out?" try, "Can you take over all trash management (taking it out, bringing the bins in, replacing bags)?" This removes the item from your mental checklist entirely.
3. Set Boundaries on Yourself
Part of the mental load comes from the pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect. Give yourself permission to let go of the things that don’t serve you right now. Embrace "good enough," and prioritize rest over non-essential chores.
4. Connect Your Mind and Body
You can directly ease the physical tension that comes from your mental load with simple, consistent practices:
Mindful Moments: Take 2-5 minutes each day to practice diaphragmatic breathing. This helps calm your nervous system and release muscle tension.
Gentle Movement: Incorporate simple stretches for your neck, shoulders, and hips into your day. A quick cat-cow stretch or a gentle neck roll can help release that pent-up tension.
By easing the mental strain, you’re not just clearing your mind—you’re actively helping your body heal and recover. The work you do to lighten your load is one of the most powerful forms of physical therapy you can give yourself.
Ready to get a personalized plan for your recovery? Schedule your free consultation today to learn how I can help.
